Paris out of jail already
Posted by George on June 7th, 2007
Paris Hilton's mug shot

It must be good to be rich and famous and also white. Paris Hilton has already been released from lockup at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, apparently due to some medical reason. Instead of being in jail like the rest of the criminals, Paris will be relaxing at her home for the next 40 days with an ankle bracelet attached. LA County Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore wants to make it clear that Paris was not released early, but was reassigned and that after 40 days Paris will have “fulfilled her debt to society.”

Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological because she was in danger of having a nervous breakdown.

Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.

So Paris’s nervous breakdown came from having to be in jail, isn’t that what every prisoner experience when they are in jail? Paris must have been saving all this acting for a time just like this to fool a psychiatrist like Charles to recommend her release from jail.

After being released Paris had the following statement:

I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.

All I can say now is Fuck Paris.

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